I couldn't believe it! We were finally in Ethiopia! We had longed to be there to meet our girls and this was a crucial event in our adoption to get our girls home...our court hearing. We got ready (minus most of our things in our lost luggage) and headed down the stairs of the guest house to gather around one big table for breakfast. That is when we met the other families who had been there prior to our 3 a.m. arrival. So represented around the table were four other families who were all in the same situation as us. Our children were all in the same orphanage together and today was a huge step toward bringing them all home. We were all anxious, but hopeful. We finished our first Ethiopian breakfast and packed in an old van to get to the courthouse.
The waiting room at the courthouse was just a large room that filled up quickly with birthparents and adoptive parents. We sat underneath a window on some sort of a step on the floor. There were chairs around the room against all the walls so that everyone was facing one another. This was the most humbling moment I have ever been in. We knew that our daughters' birthfather was supposed to be there and we knew that he was blind, so we were trying to prepare ourselves for seeing him. It wasn't long after we arrived that we saw him and immediately knew who he was. He was sitting directly in front of us across the room. I could tell right away that from our girls' pictures that they looked alike. He was sitting very calm and patient. I almost felt guilty for staring at him, knowing that he could not see me, but I didn't want to forget what he looked like. I almost lost it, and we were still waiting to see the judge, so I was trying to keep myself together. I couldn't help but think, "Who are we that we can be in such a position to be able to adopt?" Sitting all around us in the very same room are birthparents who look burdened with life and so terribly sad, who in most cases, love their child, but are in a situation that gives them no options but to relinquish their very own child! It was literally heartbreaking. I didn't feel worthy of the position I was in...I still don't. No one chooses the situation or location that they are born in. It was so unsettling to see the unfairness of life.
We waited for a couple of hours (that seemed like forever), when they called our daughters' birthfather into the small room that the judge was working in. He wasn't in there for very long. Our power of attorney was with him as well, and informed us that their birthfather had forgotten his identification, which thankfully wasn't too far away. This could have been devastating if he didn't have it nearby because he is from a small village 7 hours away from Addis Ababa and it would have been pointless for us to see the judge and even fly to Africa if his identification was hours away. This was taking place on a Thursday, and Friday was the last day the court would be open for a couple of months (which is part of the miracle of us getting this court date).
Not long after he left to go get his identification, all of the families in our group (except for Mark and me) were called into the judge's room. We knew why we were waiting, but the waiting was not easy. Our friends came out with tears of relief and joy as they announced that they were declared the legal parents of their precious babies, of whom they had still not met. We were so happy and excited for all of these new parents, but we had also seen some other hopeful adoptive parents come all the way to ET to hear the judge say that they could not get legal custody at that time for whatever reason (paperwork or birthparents not showing). That is not the news you want to hear when you go all the way to a foreign country longing to bring your child (who you already love) home. We hung out in that waiting room for almost two more hours getting to know our new friends, staring at the door, praying, freaking out, and watching for the birthfather to walk back in. He came back in with his escort when the room was pretty much empty. We were on the edge of our seat when we watched our girls' birthfather, along with our P.O.A., his escort, and an interpreter (their birthfather spoke a tribal language that not all Ethiopians know) walk back in to see the judge. We waited... and waited... The feeling that we had WAS NOT GOOD! Why was this taking so long? It had not taken anyone else this long. All I can remember is a very bad feeling and the urgency to pray, so that is what we did. My nerves were shot by the time they all finally came out. I watched our hopefully soon-to-be daughters' birthfather, the only living parent they had, walk out of the courtroom wondering if I would ever see him again or if we would get the blessed chance to meet him and speak with him. There was no time for that because we were immediately called in to see the judge.
The judge was a young woman. She was sitting at her desk with tons of files stacked around her. She asked us to come in and have a seat right next to her desk. She asked us 5 questions:
~Do you plan on teaching the Ethiopian culture to your children?
~Do you currently have children of your own?
~Have you seen the two children you are hoping to adopt?
~Are you aware of the identity crisis that could occur later in their life?
~Do you realize that adoption is a binding and permanent contract that cannot be revoked?
Once we answered the questions, she said the most precious words that I will never forget, "Okay, they are yours." These two precious girls were ours (legally in the country of ET.) This was the biggest step we had made in our unpredictable adoption journey.
We returned to an empty waiting room, all except the other families with us. Mark and I asked our P.O.A. If we could meet our girls' birthfather...so he led us back downstairs to the busy streets of Addis Ababa to find him. He wasn't far, in fact he was just right on the corner of the street from the court house. He was with his escort, who we learned was one of his brothers. We had our P.O.A. translate us speaking in English to Amharic to their translator and he translated Amharic into their tribal language. We wasted no time and were told to keep it very brief. We introduced ourselves and tried to express that we would not forget to tell our new daughters about him and where they come from. We wanted him to know that we loved and knew Jesus and that his girls would too. It is so strange, joyous and sad all at the same time, that at just a judge's words & ruling that these precious girls went from being his daughters that his wife, who passed away, gave birth to in their humble home, and were now in the country of Ethiopia, legally ours. I can't get it out of my head, "Who are we? Why are we in this position?" I know we don't deserve it. I know we live in a fallen world where sadness is rampant. I know God loves us all, but He has different plans for each one. So the plan He has marked for me, our new daughters, our three children at home, our whole family, we will live it for His glory, the best we can, I pray. We finished our conversation quickly and I gave the only father our daughters had known a hug and customary kiss on both cheeks to show him our grattitude. He was so kind and had a big smile on his face. He was just doing his best to take care of his daughters. I had held it together until then and when we walked away and got back into the van I couldn't hold it in any longer. What an emotional (emotions of every kind) day for us all.
We found out later from our P.O.A. that back in the court room (when it was taking forever and we decided to pray) there was some major confusion during the translation between everyone in the room. He said for awhile there it sounded like their birthfather wasn't going to relinquish them after the judge questioned him. But after some more understandable translation it was clear he understood and relinquished his rights for his daughters. We believe it is very possible and real for Satan to try to stop or make difficult the good that is in this world. I know he wants it to be hard and trying to adopt, so less children will be united with families and be shown the love of God. I also believe that he will try to stop good TO.THE.VERY.END! God was faithful to us and helped us win that battle. There were still more obstacles to come, but our victory that day was bittersweet!
Psalm 9:1-4 & 9-10 "I will thank you, Lord with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done. I will be filled with joy because of you. I will sing praises to your name, O Most High. My enemies turn away in retreat; they are overthrown and destroyed before you. For you have judged in my favor; from your throne, you have judged with fairness. The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, have never abandoned anyone who searches for you."
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